Don't leave your valuables in front of your house cause I'll steal them!

Monday, August 17, 2009 Labels: 2 comments

So apparently, I borrowed a dude's flatbed trailer over the weekend and I didn't get his permission. Yep, that's right! I just drove up to the house, hitched it onto my suburban and drove away. I used it to haul a chicken coop.


Granted, I did ask permission from the guy I thought it belonged to, but in the end, it wasn't his trailer I borrowed.

Some friends of ours are moving to Alaska and had to get rid of their chickens and coop. We jumped all over this opportunity, because it was something we wanted to do this year.

We made arrangements to pick up the chicken coop on Saturday morning.

On Wednesday of last week, I asked my Bishop if I could borrow his trailer. He said that would be fine, but his nephew had the trailer but was bringing it back on Thursday. He said he would just leave it out in front of his house and I could swing by on Saturday morning to pick it up.

Saturday morning arrived with a heavy downpour of rain, but we decided to proceed with our plans. I drove over to the Bishop's house and there was the trailer parked in front of the house. I should have suspected something was wrong when I noticed the large front loading device for a tractor sitting right in front of the trailer, intending to keep someone from hitching it up and driving away. I figured the Bishop had just forgotten that I was coming.

With all the strength I could muster, I slid the front loader over to the side of the curb, backed the Suburban in at an angle to avoid hitting the front loader and hitched up the trailer. After some maneuvering, I drove away.

For the next several hours, we loaded and unloaded the chicken coop. In the early afternoon, I drove the trailer back over to the Bishop's house and dropped it off; this time I parked in a different place because I wasn't going to deal with that front loader again.

This morning, the Bishop emailed me and said, "hey, I'm sorry about the trailer. My nephew didn't bring it back. I hope you were able to find other arrangements."

I emailed him back and said I was confused, because I did take his trailer and thanked him for letting me borrow it.

He replied that he was glad everything worked out, but the trailer belonged to a general contractor who is doing an addition to his home.

Next week, I think I'll ask my neighbor if I can borrow his horse.





Read full post >>

But How Do You Know?

Monday, August 10, 2009 Labels: 2 comments

It's still early and the house is mostly quiet. I say mostly, because our lightest sleeper and earliest riser has already sprung out of bed.


As I'm unloading the dishwasher, Matt comes around the corner, "I want cereal."

"Okay, we'll get you some cereal after you get dressed."

I then escort him back to his room and find some clothes for him to wear. I lay them out on the floor next to him and tell him to dress quickly, but quietly, so he doesn't wake the others in the house.

I leave him to his newly assigned duties and put a load of laundry in the washer. I step down the hall and listen at my bedroom door and realize the shower is running and opt not to turn on the washing machine until Coralee has finished showering. From experience, I've learned it's best not to turn on "water-abusing" machines in the house until everybody is done with baths or showers.

I peek in on Matt and see that he is completely naked and is now distracted by some of the books and toys in his room.

"Get dressed Buddy!"

"Okay."

I walk out to the backyard and take in the beauty of the new day. All is well except for the lawn that is burning up and is brown in some areas. I make my way back into the house and into the garage so that I can manually kick on one of the watering stations. The cooler temperatures of the last couple of days should help, but the weatherman's prediction of rain over the weekend never happened.

I walk back outside and decide I will water the sections closest to the patio with the hose.

As I'm spraying down the dry patches, Matt comes up behind me.

"Why are the sprinklers on?"

"Because the grass needs water to grow. Do you see those brown spots on the lawn?"

"Yeah."

"Those are brown because the grass is dying right there. It's not getting enough water."

I can see him working this over in his mind. "But why are you using the hose?"

"Because the sprinkler isn't getting all the parts of the lawn like it should. I need to turn them all on and see why this part of the lawn isn't getting the water."

His mind triggers news questions, "why can't you see it?"

"Because the water comes on at night when we're all sleeping. But, if I turn it on during the day, then I can see what parts of the lawn are not getting the water."

"Who turns it on at night?"

"There is a computer that turns it on at night. I programmed the computer and told it when to turn on the water. That computer is pretty cool, because it does the job for me while I'm sleeping."

"But how do you know?"

After six children, four of which have gone through the "20 question" phase; you'd think I'd figure out how to handle the barrage of questioning and know when I was getting caught in the cycle that would never end. But, it took me until now to realize that every question I answer will lead to more questions. Who knows? He might start asking questions that have me questioning myself and that's just more brain power than I can handle right now.

I turn off the water and give him a hug, "let's go get your cereal."




Read full post >>

Head and Shoulders

Friday, April 03, 2009 Labels: 5 comments

I helped my brother-in-law tear down a fence and remove fence posts over the weekend. It was a nice, sunny day. I forgot to wear a hat. Head burned. It hurt to sleep. Pain is now gone. Head itches. I scratch. Scalp and hair fall out....in small flakes. Particulates fall from the sky and blanket my yard. Particulates fall from my head and blanket my shoulders. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Read full post >>

This Grinch Put Christmas Lights On The House

Sunday, November 30, 2008 Labels: , , 8 comments

I don't know why I'm telling you this, but if you put me in front of a keyboard and you ask me to type something, my first impulse is to type:  Corey Moser is a cool dude and that is the truth so there.


I've often typed out those words while sitting in front of a blank screen.  Back in the old days, I would punch it out on a typewriter.  Some of you may not know what that is.  You may have to visit a museum to find one, but they were once the latest and greatest in our advanced technological world.

I don't know why those are the special words that have often found their way to paper.  Perhaps it is my justification in trying to live with myself.  If I continue to tell myself that, perhaps my arrogance will only shine brighter?  You would think I would just stop with Corey Moser is a cool dude... but no...I have to accentuate it with and that is the truth so there!  

Well anyway, you won't believe what I did on Saturday.  Okay, perhaps you have already guessed, because there is no mystery to it.  The title of this blog post gives it away..... I put up Christmas lights!  Let the "shock and awe" begin.  

I even put them on the house in the month of November.  Perhaps some of the grinchiness is going away?  ...... Probably not.  It must have only been a passing moment, or perhaps an afternoon of insanity.  It is not uncommon here in Herriman.  I've seen others lose their minds; even this month.

My lapse of judgment wasn't just Saturday afternoon.  I went to a social event on Friday night and again on Saturday night.  I also went shopping with my wife this weekend.  

Some of you have just said, "miracles will never cease!"  Some of you are still scratching your heads and some of you are wondering if the world is coming to an end.

Speaking of scratching heads:  I had an itch on my scalp this morning during Gospel Doctrine and I couldn't make it go away.  That is an awkward place to get an itch; in Gospel Doctrine, not on one's head.  When I raised my hand to scratch my head, I realized it could easily be mistaken as volunteering to read a scripture or answer the teacher's question(s).  Since I wasn't in the mood for that, I had to lean my head forward with my elbow resting on my lap and then stretch my fingers to the irritant.  I'm sure it looked strange, but at least my hand didn't attract the teacher's gaze and I eventually succeeded with my task.

What was I talking about?...... oh yeah, Christmas lights.

Anyway, the lights are up and they look good.  Although, when we left the house Saturday evening, all of the lights were on.  When we returned home that night; they were all off.  Nobody was home to turn them off.  The lights tripped the breaker.

How did I resolve this problem you ask?  Rather than solve the electrical problem, I did the redneck thing:  I strung extension cables all the way around the back of the house and down through one of the bedroom windows.  Problem solved!

Yes, that's right Corey Moser is a cool dude and that is the truth so there!




Read full post >>

Timber Cat

Monday, November 24, 2008 Labels: , 4 comments

I have a black, furry cat named Timber.  He thinks he is a dog.  If I pull a post-it note from my desk, he snaps to attention and waits anxiously for me to wad it into a ball and throw it across the room.


If only for my own amusement, I acknowledge and participate in my cat's request.

He bounds (yes I said bounds, because there is nothing graceful about his attack) after the paper and retrieves it with his mouth and then will bring it back and drop it at my feet.

I bend over to pick up the paper.  It is slimy and gross, much like the tennis balls my dog, Jack, would chase and then slobber all over.  Is is supposed to be like this?

The cat stands at attention and follows every movement of my hand.  If I wait too long, he'll try to take the paper from me.  I think his tail is wagging; not flicking.  Did he just bark?

If I forget to put him in the basement and close the door at night, he'll come knock on my bedroom door at 4:30 in the morning and ask me to let him outside.

He rarely uses his litter box.  After leaving one gift inside the box; it is enough.  The rest of his treasures are strategically placed in coded patterns.  I deciphered his code the other day.  It said, "feed me pickles."

I love my cat!

Read full post >>

Beat Mom! (not what you think)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 Labels: , , 2 comments

Anytime we, as a family, get into our Chevy Suburban to head somewhere; my kids will start shouting, "Beat Mom!"  All six of them will shout this.....multiple times.   This chorus will continue at ever increasing decibels.


My wife is not a punching bag.  This is the victory chant and the competitive streak in all of my children to get seat belted before "Mom" does.


Read full post >>

Turn Around and Look

Monday, November 10, 2008 Labels: , 3 comments

I must admit, sometimes I am ashamed by how powerful the "turn around and look" instinct is.  I was driving once and saw a woman driving in the opposite direction and I actually turned around to look.  I'm staring at her car.  I was straining to look at the rear end of a Volkswagon, but still, I felt the need to look.


I'm not proud of this, you understand.  It is just a confession.

Read full post >>